Libertatea pe care o c\u0103utasem at\u00e2t de mult nu a venit \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 de lini\u0219te, ci de \u00eentreb\u0103ri la care trebuia s\u0103 r\u0103spund singur\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mult\u0103 vreme am fost convins\u0103 c\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021birea va reprezenta cea mai dureroas\u0103 \u00eencercare din via\u021ba mea. \u00cemi imaginam c\u0103 totul se va sf\u00e2r\u0219i \u00een ziua \u00een care voi semna actele \u0219i voi \u00eenchide definitiv u\u0219a unei c\u0103snicii de peste patru decenii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen realitate, adev\u0103rata provocare a \u00eenceput abia dup\u0103 aceea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trebuia s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b s\u0103 tr\u0103iesc f\u0103r\u0103 etichetele care m\u0103 \u00eenso\u021biser\u0103 aproape \u00eentreaga via\u021b\u0103. Nu mai eram doar so\u021bia lui Ioan, mama copiilor mei sau bunica nepo\u021bilor. Pentru prima dat\u0103 dup\u0103 foarte mul\u021bi ani, trebuia s\u0103 descop\u0103r cine este, cu adev\u0103rat, Elisabeta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
C\u00e2nd eram t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103, \u00eemi pl\u0103cea s\u0103 desenez ore \u00eentregi \u0219i visam s\u0103 v\u0103d lumea. \u00cemi imaginam c\u0103 voi \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba mereu ceva nou \u0219i c\u0103 voi p\u0103stra bucuria lucrurilor simple. Undeva, pe parcursul vie\u021bii, toate aceste dorin\u021be au r\u0103mas \u00een urm\u0103, acoperite de responsabilit\u0103\u021bi \u0219i de grija pentru ceilal\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Primele luni dup\u0103 divor\u021b au fost pline de obiceiuri pe care nu reu\u0219eam s\u0103 le las \u00een urm\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau seama, continuam s\u0103 cump\u0103r alimente pentru dou\u0103 persoane. Seara priveam ceasul \u0219i aveam impresia c\u0103 cineva trebuia s\u0103 ajung\u0103 acas\u0103. Uneori, c\u00e2nd auzeam pa\u0219i pe scar\u0103 sau zgomotul unei chei \u00een u\u0219\u0103, tres\u0103ream instinctiv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi \u00eemi aminteam c\u0103 via\u021ba mea se schimbase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu mai tr\u0103iam \u00een a\u0219teptarea altcuiva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cencepusem, \u00eencet, s\u0103-mi acord mie aten\u021bia pe care o oferisem at\u00e2\u021bia ani tuturor celor din jur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00centr-o zi rece de toamn\u0103, la cursul de pictur\u0103 pe care \u00eel urmam de c\u00e2teva s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, profesoara ne-a propus s\u0103 ilustr\u0103m locul \u00een care ne sim\u021bim cu adev\u0103rat acas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Celelalte participante au ales s\u0103 picteze case, gr\u0103dini sau chipurile celor dragi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eu am r\u0103mas nemi\u0219cat\u0103 c\u00e2teva minute, privind p\u00e2nza alb\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
La un moment dat, m\u00e2na a \u00eenceput s\u0103 se mi\u0219te singur\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am desenat o fereastr\u0103 larg deschis\u0103, dincolo de care p\u0103trundea lumina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Profesoara s-a apropiat \u0219i m-a \u00eentrebat de ce am ales tocmai acea imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I-am r\u0103spuns simplu:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Pentru mine, aceasta este prima fereastr\u0103 pe care am avut curajul s\u0103 o deschid dup\u0103 foarte mult timp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen clipa aceea am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 nu doar ie\u0219isem dintr-o c\u0103snicie. M\u0103 desprinsesem de ani \u00eentregi \u00een care tr\u0103isem cu speran\u021ba c\u0103 lucrurile se vor schimba de la sine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen apropierea s\u0103rb\u0103torilor de iarn\u0103, Andreea a venit din nou s\u0103 m\u0103 vad\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
De data aceasta nu \u00eencerca s\u0103 m\u0103 fac\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 r\u0103zg\u00e2ndesc. A intrat cu o pr\u0103jitur\u0103 preg\u0103tit\u0103 chiar de ea \u0219i cu o expresie cald\u0103, pe care nu i-o mai v\u0103zusem de mult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Mam\u0103, vreau s\u0103-\u021bi spun ceva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am privit-o \u00eencurajator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 La \u00eenceput am crezut c\u0103 ai f\u0103cut cea mai mare gre\u0219eal\u0103. Eram convins\u0103 c\u0103 destrami familia. Dar acum v\u0103d lucrurile cu al\u021bi ochi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am \u00eentrebat-o, curioas\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Ce vezi acum?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ea a z\u00e2mbit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 V\u0103d o femeie care tr\u0103ie\u0219te din nou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vorbele ei mi-au atins sufletul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am \u00een\u021beles atunci c\u0103, uneori, copiii no\u0219tri au nevoie s\u0103 vad\u0103 nu doar p\u0103rin\u021bi care se sacrific\u0103, ci \u0219i oameni care au curajul s\u0103-\u0219i rec\u00e2\u0219tige propria via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despre Ioan aflam ve\u0219ti din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd prin Lucian.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
R\u0103m\u0103sese \u00een apartamentul \u00een care tr\u0103iser\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103 \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i construia, \u00eencet, o rutin\u0103 nou\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00centr-o zi, fiul nostru mi-a spus z\u00e2mbind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Tata a \u00eenceput s\u0103 g\u0103teasc\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu m-am putut ab\u021bine s\u0103 r\u00e2d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-l imaginam cu greu \u00een buc\u0103t\u0103rie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Spune c\u0103 este timpul s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be ceea ce, ani \u00eentregi, a considerat firesc s\u0103 fac\u0103 altcineva pentru el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am z\u00e2mbit \u0219i eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu mai sim\u021beam sup\u0103rare. Doar o triste\u021be lini\u0219tit\u0103 pentru doi oameni care, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-\u0219i dea seama, se \u00eendep\u0103rtaser\u0103 unul de cel\u0103lalt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poate c\u0103 \u0219i el \u00eencerca, \u00een felul lui, s\u0103 o ia de la cap\u0103t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prim\u0103vara urm\u0103toare ne-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit la o cafenea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Era prima discu\u021bie purtat\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 \u00een fa\u021b\u0103 dup\u0103 divor\u021b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu mai eram so\u021b \u0219i so\u021bie, ci doi oameni care \u00eemp\u0103r\u021biser\u0103 o parte important\u0103 din via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u00ce\u021bi prie\u0219te schimbarea, mi-a spus Ioan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 \u0218i tu pari diferit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A r\u0103mas c\u00e2teva clipe pe g\u00e2nduri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 M-am g\u00e2ndit mult la ceea ce mi-ai spus \u00eenainte s\u0103 pleci. Despre faptul c\u0103 \u00eentre noi nu mai exista via\u021b\u0103 de foarte mult timp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
L-am ascultat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-l \u00eentrerup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Credeam c\u0103 este suficient s\u0103 avem o cas\u0103, copii \u0219i lini\u0219te. Am confundat obi\u0219nuin\u021ba cu fericirea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A f\u0103cut o pauz\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Am uitat s\u0103 avem grij\u0103 unul de cel\u0103lalt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu i-am r\u0103spuns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Unele concluzii vin prea t\u00e2rziu pentru a schimba trecutul, dar suficient de devreme pentru a ne schimba pe noi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ast\u0103zi am 67 de ani \u0219i duc o via\u021b\u0103 simpl\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Locuiesc \u00eentr-un apartament mic, pe ai c\u0103rui pere\u021bi stau tablourile pe care le-am pictat. L\u00e2ng\u0103 u\u0219\u0103 \u00eemi a\u0219teapt\u0103 bicicleta, iar agenda mea este plin\u0103 de planuri \u0219i lucruri pe care \u00eenc\u0103 vreau s\u0103 le descop\u0103r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu am o via\u021b\u0103 perfect\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anii \u0219i-au l\u0103sat urmele, genunchii m\u0103 dor uneori, iar oboseala apare mai repede dec\u00e2t odinioar\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dar \u00een fiecare diminea\u021b\u0103 m\u0103 trezesc cu dorin\u021ba de a vedea ce \u00eemi aduce ziua.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cemi beau cafeaua \u00een ora\u0219, merg la cursurile de pictur\u0103, citesc c\u0103r\u021bi pe care le-am am\u00e2nat ani \u00eentregi \u0219i petrec timp cu nepo\u021bii mei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la t\u00e2n\u0103ra care, la dou\u0103zeci \u0219i patru de ani, pornea plin\u0103 de speran\u021b\u0103 \u00eentr-o via\u021b\u0103 al\u0103turi de Ioan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dac\u0103 a\u0219 putea s\u0103-i spun ceva, i-a\u0219 aminti s\u0103 nu renun\u021be niciodat\u0103 la propriile visuri, oric\u00e2t de mult \u0219i-ar iubi familia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu privesc \u00een urm\u0103 cu regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anii petrecu\u021bi \u00eempreun\u0103 au \u00eensemnat copii, amintiri \u0219i multe clipe frumoase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cens\u0103 oamenii se schimb\u0103, iar uneori cel mai sincer gest fa\u021b\u0103 de propria persoan\u0103 este s\u0103 accep\u021bi c\u0103 un drum comun a ajuns la cap\u0103t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Privind \u00een urm\u0103, \u00een\u021beleg c\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021birea nu mi-a luat via\u021ba pe care o aveam, ci mi-a oferit \u0219ansa de a construi una \u00een care s\u0103 m\u0103 reg\u0103sesc din nou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
De aceea cred ast\u0103zi c\u0103 niciun \u00eenceput nu \u021bine cont de v\u00e2rst\u0103, iar cea mai important\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103torie este aceea \u00een care \u00eenve\u021bi, \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it, s\u0103 te \u00eentorci la tine \u00eens\u0103\u021bi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Libertatea pe care o c\u0103utasem at\u00e2t de mult nu a venit \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 de lini\u0219te, ci de \u00eentreb\u0103ri la care trebuia s\u0103 r\u0103spund singur\u0103. Mult\u0103 vreme am fost convins\u0103 c\u0103 desp\u0103r\u021birea va reprezenta cea mai dureroas\u0103 \u00eencercare din via\u021ba mea. \u00cemi imaginam c\u0103 totul se va sf\u00e2r\u0219i \u00een ziua \u00een care voi semna actele \u0219i voi … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3091"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3092,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3091\/revisions\/3092"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stiri-faine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}